outofhenhurst | (no subject)

Hi! My name is Jackie and today I had to crab-walk in a hallway while singing Queen's 'Bicycle Race.' Also, I am clearly not a trend-setter, I am a trend-follower. I apologize for this, but only lightly.

I do this with the intention of going back and hitting up the intro post like a good person.

CHARACTER NAME: Julian Montague (Julie, Jules, etc. All are acceptable. Won't put up any argument.)
AGE: 25
HOUSE/YEAR/SPECIAL ROLES: Castelobruxo, 2012-2014 → THEN Hufflepuff, 2014-2019
WHAT'S SOME COMMON KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THEM?:

His dad's family didn't end up being war criminals. But, y'know, casually. In that they were not present to be war criminals.
Absolutely pretended not to comprehend the English language when he first arrived at Hogwarts. Feels no shame about this.
Works in a retirement home where he is bullied by people's grandparents/senior citizens who aren't anybody's grandparents daily. (Is the name of this retirement home based on the RED (Retired Extremely Dangerous) Movies/Comic? Yes. Has Ethel probably killed a man? Also yes.)

ELEVATOR PITCH: Big, quiet, blunt instrument would prefer it if
EMPLOYMENT HISTORY: The Reddington Elders Development (aka The RED), 2019-NOW
NOTABLE RELATIONSHIPS: Not? Really?? Bunches of 2019 Hufflepuffs, I guess! Possibly your grandma.
WANTED LINES:

I'm so bad at these because all I want to do is write: 'Friends??? Maybe????' a bunch.
People he's irritated by answering questions like he is also over the age of 80 and legally allowed to have no regard for social protocols. (Did you mess up your eyeliner? Yes. Yes, you did.)
I'm so tired, but please know that I love and appreciate all of you and will actually attempt to hit up the actual intro post after I am free from school tomorrow.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

JACKIE HI!!!! IT'S ALEX!!!!! i already have four (we all knew this was inevitable) so i'm just gonna try and do a quick run through!!

greasygrimygopherguts Gilly Goyle is the most relevant!!! Same house same year!!! She's not very smart and I feel like sometimes they just talk at each other and they're just on completely different wavelengths the entire time. But she's blindly loyal and would definitely kill for him if she got even the vaguest idea that that's what he wanted, isn't going to bother to double-check first.

chasingrivers is Chase Jordan and I think their grandma should be at the RED to bully him. Purely to bully him. Another child who will probably be on a completely different planet from Julian, nobody speaks the same language here!!!

scrooged Ebenezer Smith might not have a HUGE amount of overlap, but like what if I bothered you with him anyway. He's a prickly little weeb so I'm sorry if that does happen.

AND newest baby Freddie Weasley here. He's full of bad ideas and thinks it's hilarious every time Julian offends someone with his bluntness.

HI I LOVE YOU I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE!!!

HIIIIII! ♥ hey you're just maximizing potential, this is a valid strategy. you've done well here.

you don't have to talk TO people when you already know that you like one another and are never going to be able to escape each other. it's FINE. communication is difficult. and julian is also an idiot who will often look at things being said to him with no expression other than ????

julian goes to work solely to be bullied. every person in that place tells him what to do all day. he has no control over his own life. please yell at him all day, grandma jordan.

i mean. i am. how do you say? not. opposed. yes! i am not opposed to this as a thing. also my GOD ebenezer, you're living the dream you absolute disaster. who doesn't think of trying to pull that kind of shit at least once in high school? great job. you're a hero.

and freddie i love you. you shouldn't encourage julian to be an asshole. but also julian absolutely found everything he did pretty fucking amusing (so long as it didn't personally inconvenience him) would he have expressed this verbally in any way? no. but he would have laughed very quietly to himself as shit went down.